She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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