i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
