I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
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he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
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I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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