my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
