I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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