You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
