I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
