He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
