I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
