All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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