you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
