why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
