What did we do last night that was yellow?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
