I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
why do cheetos always look like penises
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
