Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
