you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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