So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
