I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
and she was petting her beer can
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
