Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
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