Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
