Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
