A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
