i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
