I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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