I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
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I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
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What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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