I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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