The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
