I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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