Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
