We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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