I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
