I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize