Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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