i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
