You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
