At least make sure they are 18
Why
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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