marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
