he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
