Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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