lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
