last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
