he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
