i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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