I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
