everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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