She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
