From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
My pussy is not your playground.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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