you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
