haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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