Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
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I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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