Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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