I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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