i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
