i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize