butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
