Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(219): View more from Indiana

I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?

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(228): View more from Mississippi

they just did a mariachi cover of free bird

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(907): View more from Alaska

I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.

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(289): View more from Ontario

eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.

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(604): View more from British Columbia

Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.

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(667): View more from Maryland

what customs doesn't know wont hurt them

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(231): View more from Michigan

Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.

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