i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
