Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
