you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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