Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Are my feet made of real feet?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
