First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
