she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
