she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
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you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
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One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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