I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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