Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
