That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
