A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
